So, this is it.

I have depression and severe anxiety. I finally went and spoke to my doctor and got a referral to a psychologist. I just haven't been myself for so long and I knew something was up.

I hate admitting this because I don't want people to believe that I am not happy with my son or my husband. I could not be happier! They are my life and mean the world to me.

My life is 'perfect' in the sense that it is exactly how I wanted. Exactly how I had planned. I have a helpful, loving husband and an amazingly beautiful, sweet child. I also have a wonderful family and great friends who are there for me all the time. So why is this happening to me?

Anyway, the appointment went well and I hope things start getting back to normal soon.

'Mama'

Well, he said it. He really said it. I don't care if he didn't mean me. Hearing those words come out of his mouth just made my heart melt. It really makes everything that we do as Moms worth it.

Manolo, Manolo

Where can I wear you? These used to be so comfortable for me. 4 inch heels were nothing to my feet. Now, I can barely try them on!! I'm going to have to start wearing some heels again and gradually increase the height. I can't let these babies go to waste! It's not like I have many places to wear them, but when I do, I don't wanna look like a fool!

I've always wondered what it would be like to live somewhere where dressing up was the norm. Like, where do people go? I guess shopping downtown? I have no clue! The most dressed up I get is nice jeans and top for dinner out! lol I think I need a vacation to California soon!

And another month bites the dust...

Crazy! Time is just flying by. I can't believe I'm supposed to go back to work in about 6 months. I fell into this lifestyle so easily and I can't imagine ever leaving it. I mean, I knew I would enjoy mat leave, but not this much!

As if I didn't have enough to do in the run of a day, I'm also doing an accounting course. It's really been bringing me down lately. I find I just don't have the time to commit to it and then I lose motivation. It would be soooo good to finish, though.

My boy will be celebrating his 6 month birthday in 2 days. I can't believe it. I want to stop time right now. I love to teach him new things and see him grow and develop, but it's so sad to think he won't always be my sweet little baby that I rock to sleep every night. Can I still do that when he's 10? I sure hope this kid's a mama's boy!

So here we are...

Almost 2 years later with a beautiful baby boy. I can't believe how much my life has changed since my last post. We spent 8 months charting and putting our all into getting pregnant. This was after the previous 4 of casually seeing what would happen. It was tough and it finally all paid off on February 20th 2009 when we got our BFP!

My pregnancy was pretty smooth until around 35 weeks when I began to develop preeclampsia. Very scary! I was induced and had my boy on October 18th, 2009. He was 6 lbs 10 oz and 19 inches of pure heaven. I fell for him hard that day.

The first few weeks were tough, but his daddy and I have become an amazing team. I am so proud of my hubby for being such a great father. I knew he would be! :)